Alert Level Update

Following the news that, due to Iceland's prolonged attack, I will not be flying today and taking into consideration that I am booked provisionally on to flights on Friday and Tuesday; I have reduced the Volcanic Ash Alert Level to "On Tenterhooks" in accordance with the guidelines set out by the Alarm within the Constraints of Britishness Committee (ACBC).

The levels of alert are as follows:

Nonchalant Optimism (lowest level)
I'll Put The Kettle On
On Tenterhooks
Lightly Miffed
Spirited Concern
Someone Should Really Write A Letter (highest level)

I must stress that the highest level concern should be reserved for only the most serious chaos.